Beatle Juice (extracting the last drop thereof)
Here is something the world most certainly doesn't need- another comprehensive review of the entire Beatles catalogue. The fact people still obsess over a band that has been defunct for half a century says more about people's desperation to perpetually wallow in the abstract comforts of a mythological and intangible past more than it does the talents and achievements of the band. But having said that- clearly and subjectively there is no doubting their once in a lifetime talents and achievements; they are the most comprehensively successful guitar-bass-drum ensemble that the world will ever see. Hard to deny they're still worth a listen.
I already have my favourites list in mind and it hasn't changed too much over the years, but I decided to take some advice from a teenage girl in a famous piece of beatlemania footage and forget all my troubles and cares and listen to some "Beatle recaarrds" . To mix it up I won't do how many tracks I like I'll just give a short comment from the top of my head on the individual album experience. Some of the choice disparities of the various 'my fav beatles albums' lists probably says more about subjectivity, idiosyncrasy and prejudice than any University level sociology thesis.
And if you don't like my review and prefer traditional music press tropes just remember- I'm not knockin it or putin' it down...I'm just saying it as a fact you know....and it is true spesh..more for England than here...I'm not saying my list is BETTER or GREATER or comparing me to music journalists as people, or the NME as a thing or whatever it is...I just wrote what I wrote and it was wrong, or was taken wrong...and now it's all this! *leans back in chair and sulks*

The Fab Fourteen
1-The White Album (1968).
Good ol' Whitey. Maybe its cheating cos its a double album, but there is everything in here, not just in terms of The Beatles career but in terms of the human experience, there is love, hate, anger, peace, greed, gluttony, envy, drugs, sobriety, sex, death, war, wealth, poverty, cruelty, heartache, violence, tranquility, insanity, and a song about a lovable sheep dog. What more could you ask for? (well the electric version of Revolution might have been nice )
key song: 'Sexy Sadie'- as it is melodically and lyrically one of Lennons most mature and sophisticated, it manages to capture a very tricky and complicated set of emotions in one song, and a clever use of double meaning.
2-Revolver (1966)
An extremely close second, this is the first album I went out and bought and it changed my perspective on music. One of the most daring and odd albums ever released by a mainstream band when you consider what most other music sounded like at the time, this is the point when their songwriting really hit warp speed, there is also alot of bold production and mixing innovations, right from the get go the guitars on 'Taxman' slap you in the face and don't back off , something people don't have the balls to do in 2022 let alone 1966.
key song: 'Eleanor Rigby'- one of the best songs ever written, and watching 'Yellow Submarine' at an old revival house cinema and being blown away by the segment with this song is what got me into the Beatles.
3-Magical Mystery Tour (1967)
I always thought this album was criminally underrated, it deserves to be regarded as a classic, and I theorize its association with the sadly failed experiment of a film is what hurts its reputation over the years, as well as the fact they just stuck a couple of big singles on the second half makes people question whether it even counts as an album. Imagine if you didnt know any of that and just heard it as a standalone album, it's actually one of the best start to finish albums they ever did, and I think it stands up better as a snapshot of their psychedelic period than Sgt.Pepper.
key song: 'I Am the Walrus'- probably the most well known deep dive tracks of any band ever, once again production wise it's so raw and raucous it's about ten years ahead of its time.
4-Abbey Road (1969)
The White Album was chaotic as hell and goes in a dozen different uncontrolled experimental directions and Abbey Road as an album is the perfect complimentary opposite, it's a very cohesive group effort and its experimental but in a very contained way, the medley of songs on the second half is a very inventive way to round out an album. There isn't a weak track really, even Ringo's cut is awesome truth be told. And extra bonus points for the frequent use of a Moog synthesizer.
key song: 'I Want You/She's So Heavy'- 52 years on and still one of the most menacing, hypnotic riffs ever written.
5-Rubber Soul (1965)
Kind of like a prequel to 'Revolver', this was the last hurrah of the old innocent Beatles before they said they were bigger than Jesus, had an album cover of them with mutilated babies, dropped acid and stopped touring, and with that in mind it is the perfect halfway house between their past and their future. Expanded instrumentation, fuller production and the first move away from bubble gum pop teen lyrics, and the albums real secret weapon...Ringo! people can take the piss out of the mans drumming all they like, but this is the album where Ringo starts to re-shape the Beatles from stiff, dorky white boy rhythms to looser and funkier, its just a shame the track he sings on blows.
key song: 'Norwegian Wood'- they dont write em like that anymore eh? the melody is so sharp it gives me wood.
6-Hard Day's Night (1964)
For me this is the best of the fab four era, the fact they put so much work in crafting these songs shows you how seriously they took the film and weren't going to do it as a cash grab. Interestingly a few of Johns songs are the weakest and few of Pauls are the best, but since this is their first album of all originals I'll cut John some slack.
key song: 'And I Love Her'- One of Maccas finest moments, crazy to think he was only 22 when he created this, makes you wonder where that songwriting talent went? Maybe he did die in a car crash.
7-Sgt Pepper Lonely Hearts Club Band (1967)
One of the most overrated album of the 1960s, I'm guessing this is one of those 'you had to be there' deals. The main problem- Paul's goofy granny music songs. You're meant to be looking to the future, not trying to satirize the past like an adolescent smartarse. What a waste. The artwork and the idea of a pseudo-concept album were no doubt innovative for the time, but the music contained within just don't live up to the mystique, as much as boomers try and tell us it does. Maybe if Strawberry fields and Penny Lane were on the album, like the band wanted, if might have come closer to fulfilling it's potential. But they're not, and it doesn't.
key song:'A Day in the Life'- I heard a song today, oh boy.
8-Help (1965)
Average film, pretty average album. The songs aren't bad, a few of them are classics, but in general the tunes sound a bit paint by numbers at this point, they're going over old ground and some of the performances are a bit flat, they were probably in a rut at this point....I mean he's singin' help for a kick-off.
key song: 'You've Got to Hide Your Love Away'- could be released today and would still sound contemporary, except no one seems to be able to write something as good, even with 11 'professional' songwriters.
9-Beatles For Sale (1964)
The pressures of making a film and trotting out so many LPs and singles (and even producing German versions of their hits including the curiously titled "She Lick Dick Yeh Yeh Yeh") had finally taken it's toll, even Lennon/Mcartney/Harrison couldn't keep up that ridiculous pace, and so this could have been so much more, they have a few brilliant songs but are so burned out they have to resort to filling it up with tired old covers, including numbers they had been doing as far back as the Hamburg days. They are good covers of good songs, but it feels like a step backwards after Hard Days Night. Beatles for sale ay? well I ain't buying.
key song: 'I'm a Loser'- John dipping his toes in the waters of introspective poetry.
10-Please Please Me (1963)
To me the first 2 albums are tainted by the fact they consist of dated, tame, cheesy pop (albeit very well written) and cover songs. Not much separates these two, but I put this one higher purely for 'I Saw Her Standing There' and the fact that before the guitar solo in 'Boys' Ringo shouts "Alllright George!!".
key song: 'I Saw Her Standing There'- "she was just 17,well you know what I mean" A charming little ditty that makes you long for the days when statutory rape was seen as good clean fun.
11- With the Beatles (1963)
Seriously? Stu Sutcliffe died for this? songs about crying and waiting for the postman and shit? utter cheese balls. Should have stuck with the leather outfits you bunch of wussies.
key song: 'Don't Bother Me'- people who say George's coming of age as a songwriter was 'Taxman' obviously haven't heard this one. Brilliant little Hidden gem that shows George had his own unique style even as early as '63.
12- Meet the Beatles (1963)
Of course the donut scoffing, metric system snubbing, no free healthcare having, defenceless country invading trans-atlantic barbarians consider this pointless Capitol Records repackaging of the first two U.K albums the band's "first" "classic" "album" "man", but it's not the 60s anymore, we're not cut off and clueless, we live in a global-ether information superhighway always-online world now....so do things properly and just buy/download/stream/steal the first two EMI albums. Man.
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13-Yellow Submarine (1968)
Really really shouldn't count as a fully fledged album, also I always thought it was odd that it doesn't have 'Eleanor Rigby' considering thats the best bit in the film, but since it seems to be included, I'll simply say I'd rather listen to a few good songs and George Martin's orchestra music than the album I placed last.
key song: 'Hey Bulldog'- obviously.
14-Let it Be (1970)
Let it be?? no no DON'T let it be....Let it fucking DIE....how about Let it suck my dick!!!!!!! That scrawny, ghost faced, noodle haired, murdering bastard Phil Spector took what should have been the Beatles grand swan song and instead gave us a simpering, neutered pile of over-produced, soppy string section laden middle of the road top-40 pandering dross!! Only someone with the intelligence of a bowl of dog snot would choose to omit the best song from the album's sessions, and all but ensure that the best band in history finishes their storied career with a limp, spiritless whimper. Thanks a lot anus breath!
key song: Don't Let Me Down- a classic example of not only Lennon's melodic genius, but his incredible ability to say the most with the fewest words, delivered with delicate but direct phrasing. It's a shame it's not on the FUCKING ALBUM!
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